’ ”Less than a year later, they both enrolled in the same small science course.She eventually dropped it, choosing to take it over the summer so she wouldn’t have to be in the same room as him.“Even after I graduated, he would occasionally message me,” she said.One woman had told him she wanted to thank him for helping her move in.As he drifted in and out of blackouts, he realized he was having sex with her. That’s where it went from annoying to alarming: As he opened the door to the hall, “she fell on the ground, screaming, ‘Stop it, stop it, I don’t want to have sex with you!She confronted him immediately.“He was like, ‘I didn’t rape you,’ ” she said.“I was like, ‘I told you I did not want your penis in my vagina, and that’s what happened, so how is that not rape?
As he began to rape her, she said, she asked whether he would get a condom, and he let go of her.
“The memory is so, so foggy.”The man, a couple years older, was kind, good-looking, church-going, close to his family. “His personality didn’t lead me to believe he would do something like that.”In the years since, she hasn’t dwelled on the incident. “He’s gone about his life, and I’ve gone about mine.”He was drinking with a small group of people in a dorm room when she approached him and sat down on his lap. He didn’t want to hook up with her, but it seemed socially inappropriate to push her off.“You don’t want to be rude, you don’t want to be weird,” he said.
“Definitely there’s an awkwardness to saying no.”When his friends saw what was happening, they moved the party elsewhere, and he was left alone with a girl he didn’t know.
“I think I was hoping that he would realize that what he did was wrong.”She didn’t report the incident because her mother worried that it would be more stressful to go through that process than to leave it alone.
“I think he thought because we had started, because he had kissed me and I didn’t immediately shove him off and say what the f---, that meant he was entitled to have sex with me or something,” she said.