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I have thought long and hard about my relationship to food (and exercise), and I have started to make some changes in order to remain healthy.

I also have both short and long term goals for doing so. So please save the condescending lectures (and arm-chair therapy) for someone else.

So posts like this make folks uncomfortable, often leading to three kinds of reactionary (and unhelpful) comments. Even though we all have insecurities, self-confidence is not my major struggle.

I’m all those things in a culture that not only hates fat, and finds it repulsive, but also in a culture where fat dark-skinned women can only find roles in movies as maids.

Even so, one could argue that these mainstream films reflect the desires of white America, or more to the point, white men, and not Black men, which up to this point is the only group of men I’ve dated.

But with brothers I find, that they, too, have internalized a particular relationship to the body-type most associated with the mammy figure.

They see girls like me as sisters, as homegirls, but not as love options, because they don’t find big girls sexy.